FIRST VISIT
The people of Wormfood , Arizona
Abner Pyle and his hunting dog,
Dagnabbit, were sitting out in the desert, watching the stars from the back of
his old Studebaker pick-up. Dagnabbit
rested his tired old head on Abner’s legs, while a shotgun rested on the other. The old buzzard hunter was prepared for
anything.
He’d fought in both World Wars,
and believed that even ‘damn Martians’ would yield before the power of
grapeshot.
At approximately two in the
morning Dagnabbit pricked up his floppy ears and barked at the starry sky.
“Whassa matter, boy?” Abner
croaked, his voice dry and in need of liquid refreshment.
Dagnabbit bayed.
“Yer hearin’ Martians, dog?”
Abner readied his shotgun,
Bessie, and rammed a wad of chewing tobacco into his mouth, munching with
stained teeth.
“I’ll blast yer Martian heads
off!” he yelled at the sky.
The dog fell silent. Even the singing insects hushed.
Abner felt the hairs on his neck
start to rise. For the first time in his
life Abner Pyle was afraid of the unknown.
Then he saw it.
It came from the East, a pinpoint
of green light, accompanied by the faintest of hums. As the object grew closer and increased in
size so the hum increased in volume.
Within a minute or so, the humming was quite loud and the object clearly
visible: a flattened circle in shape, it was a bright red colour surrounded by
a green glow. On top was a clear
bubble. Abner could just make out…
something sitting within the bubble.
He jumped down from the back of
the truck and aimed the gun at the bizarre object above him, just as three legs
popped out of the ovoid body.
He fired… both barrels.
To his horror the saucer zipped
first one way then the other, avoiding the blast. Abner just stared.
“Git, ye green-skinned
brain-sucking varmint!”
The saucer landed and the bubble
topped hissed open, allowing the pilot to exit.
The pilot…
Abner could not believe his eyes
as the pilot clambered out of the cockpit.
It was about four feet tall, green, naked, fat-bodied with a head shaped
like an inverted pear… but the most alarming feature was its expression: the
alien had the most sickeningly stupid smile he had ever seen. He wasn’t sure whether to burst out laughing
or run screaming into the night. In the
end he did neither, electing to stand his ground, empty shotgun aimed squarely
at the bizarre thing before him.
As it approached Abner stared in
wonder at the weird bouncy way it walked, and gaped when he heard it singing to
itself.
“Jest you stay right where you
are pardner… tha’s iffen you don’t want that stupid face o’ your’n full o’
shot!”
“Eep!” the creature squeaked.
“What?”
“Eep gloota oop hokka
jubbajubba!”
“Speak English boy!” Abner
yelled. The alien closed his eyes and
gave the old man a raspberry as wet as any earthly variety.
Abner was speechless. He had expected ray guns and death beams – he
had not expected to be confronted by the only alien who insulted people.
Seemingly satisfied with its
night’s work the little creature waved at Abner and returned to the parked
flying saucer. The bubble closed over
its green head and it took off. The
Martian gave the old man another little wave - and Abner to his surprise found
himself waving back.
The little Martian’s ship took
off with a hum. With a last beatific
smile the spaceman shot away, leaving only a thunderclap and three depressions
in the sand from where it had sat.
Abner turned to Dagnabbit.
“Y’know boy… ain’t no-one gonna
believe this one. No siree!”
END
* * * * *
CHRISTMAS
It was Christmas Eve, 1955, and
little Timmy Wormscrew lay in an iron lung in Sodbury Children’s hospital,
growing more and more excited as he thought of the wonderful presents the jolly
fat man would leave for him: all laid out on the floor, bright in their
colourful wrappings and bows. He would
have to look at them in the mirror positioned above his head, of course, but he
would be able to see them all the same.
Nurse Pretty came to see him that
night. She placed a kiss on his forehead
with her cool lips and smoothed his hair with her gentle, delicate hand. Little Timmy was too young to fully
appreciate the scent of fresh roses or the way the nurse moved with the grace
of an antelope. Too young to appreciate
the awe inspiring beauty that was Nurse Wendy Pretty.
“Nighty-night, Timmy,” she
breathed, her breath like a fragrant breeze washing over a field of bluebells.
“Ooh, I’m so excited, Nurse
Pretty,” little Timmy squealed, his upturned face in the mirror bright and
alert.
“Well the sooner you go to sleep,
the sooner you can… have your day nurse open your presents.” Wendy Pretty bit her lower lip with perfect
teeth, knowing that the child would probably never again so much as open a
comic.
“Gosh yes. I hope I get the new Dan Dare space-pistol.”
Nurse Pretty gave the unfortunate
child a smile sweeter than pure sugar, trying to hide the tears that welled up
in her clear blue eyes.
“Go to sleep, Timmy. Goodnight dear.”
“Night nurse.”
Christmas morning was only an
hour old when little Timmy’s room was filled with a bright green glow. In the centre of the room was a bright strip
of burning green light. It bulged in the
centre and a small, green, three-digit hand groped through, followed by an
arm. A podgy little body riding on
flipper feet and a bald head like an inverted pear followed.
The little creature turned back
to the strip and squeezed the antennae on his head together – the green strip
of light faded away.
Smiling inanely the little alien
padded across the tiled floor to where a pile of brightly wrapped boxes lay at
the foot of a large cylindrical structure supported by sturdy legs. A small boy’s head poked out of one end,
lying on his back facing a mirror.
The creature grabbed a parcel and
shook it. It made a happy tinkling
sound. The alien’s smile grew ever more
childlike as it grabbed package after package.
Finally it ripped open a present and produced a plastic water pistol
shaped like a ray-gun. The alien whooped
with joy.
“Fopple dop bongawaonga
finklebaum!” it chirped, the joy on its face as plain as day.
Timmy stirred and opened his
eyes, staring in disbelief at what he saw in the mirror. He wished he could pinch himself to find out
if what he was seeing was a dream. He
kept staring.
He saw a little green man playing
with a plastic water pistol, an idiotic smile on its face. He gave a little laugh, and the little man padded
across the floor towards him. The flat
feet made sucking and splotching noises as it walked. Timmy could now clearly see the little
Martian in his overhead mirror, albeit upside-down, and what he saw made him
gurgle with delight.
The alien held the toy gun to the
little boy’s head and smiled impishly.
“Fffffffffffftannnnngggggg!” he
intoned. This was just too much for
Timmy and he burst out laughing.
“Ssshhhh!” the Martian hissed,
holding one pencil-like finger up to his lipless mouth.
Suddenly the sound of running
stilettos in the corridor caused the alien’s expression to change to one of
disappointment. He brought his antennae
together and leapt into the bright green strip that appeared. As the room faded into darkness once more the
boy howled with laughter, tears streaming from his eyes.
At that moment the lights came on
and nurse Pretty rushed in, her flaxen hair like a cloud around her flushed
face. She floated across to the iron
lung and looked at Timmy, now laughing uncontrollably. She looked away and noticed the opened
presents and the open packaging that had contained the Dan Dare water pistol.
“Timmy!” Wendy Pretty
squeaked. “What happened here? How…?”
“A little green man opened them
for me!” he screamed in between bouts of manic laughter.
The nurse stared at the boy in
something akin to horror.
Little Timmy spent the rest of
his life in a secure wing of a state mental hospital – where he was probed for
paranormal abilities and became the toast of the parapsychology circuit.
Nurse Pretty left the hospital
and took up the post of private nurse to an aged millionaire with a terminal
disease… and became the richest nurse in England .
The little Martian went home.
END
* * * * *
BATH-TIME
Lesser Chissington, 1956
A Sunday…
Mandy Strange yawned expansively
and switched off her wireless set: She had been listening to the Light
Programme all evening and the valves were starting to overheat. She checked the
clock on the mantle – nine thirty, and she had work early in the morning. She yawned again and stood up.
“Time for a bath,” she muttered
to herself. She checked the boiler in
the airing cupboard and wandered up the stairs to the bathroom, yawning all the
way. Yes, a good bath would be
wonderful.
Mandy’s bathroom was small but
tastefully decorated, with a large bath and a furry bath-mat. The bath was soon filling up with hot
water.
Slowly she undressed and caught
sight of herself in the mirror on the wall above the sink, and stared at her
reflection. A soft, heart-shaped face
with light grey eyes and a mass of red hair tied in a loose ponytail. A pert nose surrounded by a light dusting of
freckles. She eyed her upper body:
narrow shoulders and smallish, but rounded breasts.
She sighed and stepped into the
bath.
If was a few minutes later, when
she was about to fall asleep that she noticed that the air in the room had
taken on a strange feel, and a hum started to assault her ears. Suddenly a green dot appeared in mid air
above the bath, which quickly became a horizontal strip. It parted slightly and something fell into
the bath.
Mandy screamed as a bulbous green
head with antennae poked up from between her open legs. It was shaped like an inverted pear and had
huge yellow eyes. There was no nose, but
a smile that seemed too childlike to belong to something so weird-looking.
“Oogle fongle umbabababa?” it
asked, its voice like that of a six year old human.
“What? Get out of my bloody bath you!” Despite her fear Mandy was furious. She had no idea what this green thing between
her legs was, but it was getting on her nerves, especially the way it stared at
her chest. She quickly folded her arms
over her breasts. She desperately hoped
it wouldn’t be even more curious.
Then something hard pressed
against her thigh. Panicked she tried to
close her legs.
“Ta-daaa!” the alien cried,
holding up the soap in its three-fingered little green hand. Mandy gave a sigh of relief and let her arms
drop.
The little alien’s eyes grew
rounder and the smile more idiotic as it stared at her chest. Mandy shot to her feet in an instant, fearing
that the little alien had plans for her.
She tried to cover herself, but it only seemed to excite the creature
even more.
Suddenly, from somewhere, he
produced a small box with a bulb on top and held it up to his eye. A comically large lens zoomed out a little
way before there was a brilliant flash.
“Cheeeeeeeezzzzzzz!”
Mandy covered her eyes and sank
down in the bath again.
When she thought it safe to open
her eyes the little creature was gone, as was the glowing strip above the bath.
She burst into tears…
The little alien sat in his
spaceship, waiting for a machine before him to stop whirring. When the noise stopped he pulled out a large
sheet of plastic film. Printed on it, in
glorious colour was the pink, naked image of Mandy Strange. He hugged the picture to his chest and closed
his eyes, smiling.
END
* * * * *
Whales
300 miles west of the Ogasawara Islands
The Akiko Maru wallowed as she struggled in the heavy
Pacific swell, waves crashing over her decks and horizontal rain blasting the
superstructure. She was a whaler, her
hold full of blubber and whale meat, and her tanks full of oil.
At the bow, standing like a rock was the ship’s captain and
master harpooner, Hiro Asano.
His bearded face was like granite as he bared his broad
white teeth into the gale that battered him.
This was what he lived for, hunting in weather like this. He laughed as a massive wave crashed into the
Akiko Maru but he stood firm, attached to the harpoon gun by straps.
“You will have to try harder than that!” he yelled out to
sea.
He turned back to the wheelhouse but his vision was obscured
by the rain. He felt like he was on his
own, and that thought made him happy.
As he turned back the smile faded from his lips and a cry of
surprise escaped from his throat.
Something was floating before him, something green and impossibly
stupid-looking.
A little green man hovered in front of him, oblivious to the
storm raging about it. It was the size
of a child with a pear-shaped body and spindly limbs. Big flipper feet paddled in mid air. The head was an inverted pear, with huge
luminous yellow eyes and a small mouth set in a smile that screamed of innocent
stupidity. Antennae sprouted from the
head, swept back like two strands of hair.
On its back was a device like an upturned milk churn, while a pink
rubber ring was worn around its waist.
“Okk ftangg!” it shouted in a voice like a three year old
child, waving a three-fingered hand excitedly.
Hiro’s surprise turned to annoyance. He had seen many strange things at sea, so a
little green man with a rubber ring floating in the air didn’t exactly shock
him.
“What are you supposed to be?”
“Op!”
The little Martian paddled his feet and made his way to the
harpoon gun, where he sat down and looked at the huge metal bolt which sprouted
from the barrel. He touched the end and
pricked his finger.
“Nya!” he cried, sticking the finger in his mouth, then
withdrew it swollen with a cross-shaped plaster over the wound. The idiotic smile returned.
Hiro glared at the little man.
“Get off my harpoon gun, you little monster!” he shouted,
batting the alien away like a fly. He
went spinning away, tumbling over and over.
Suddenly the grey bulk of a whale breeching caught Hiro’s
attention. He hit a siren on the guard
rail and took off his gloves, gripping the handles of the huge harpoon
gun. His thumb hovered over the firing
stud as he moved the weapon until the whale’s great grey back appeared in the
cross hairs.
He blinked.
The little Martian was floating in line of fire, smiling and
waving, a camera held in its hand. It
held it up to one huge eye and shouted, “Cheeeeeeeezzzzz!”
There was a flash from an enormous bulb and Hiro’s vision
was filled with stars.
Suddenly there were shouts from behind him as the crew
appeared on deck, clothed protectively against the wind and the rain. They pointed to the hovering alien, one or
two of them running back to the perceived safety of the main superstructure.
Hiro’s vision cleared just as the alien stepped into a line
of green light which appeared just behind him.
With a final cheery wave the Martian vanished, the green line shrinking
with a sucking noise, followed by a pop.
Gnashing his teeth he once again gripped the harpoon gun and aimed it at
the whale.
There was an explosive thump as the harpoon was launched
from the barrel, only it had changed into a huge yellow plastic shaft with a
big red sucker at the end. The sucker
arced down towards the whale and bounced harmlessly off the mammal’s back.
Hiro was furious.
He reached into a locker next to the harpoon gun and pulled
out another bolt, but it too was a sucker.
“What IS this?!” he yelled, unable to control his rage. He stamped his feet and cursed the sky where
the alien had last been.
Suddenly, far out at sea there was a flash of green light
behind some low clouds and something impossibly huge crashed into the
water. The crew looked on silently, Hiro
now standing stock still. Even the sea
seemed to calm.
Something huge erupted from the sea, dark grey with
rock-like rutted skin. A massive head
with angry, glaring eyes and a mouth full of man-sized teeth turned to the
Akiko Maru and let out a bell like roar.
Huge plates on the monster’s back flashed and a beam of energy shot from
the monster’s mouth…
Survivors saw the monster turn and head away… towards Japan .
End
* * * * *
Amy
Amy Clutterbuck (nee Chiou) sighed as she gazed at herself
in the dresser mirror. What she saw was
the attractive face of a Chinese woman looking back at her. Long black wavy hair fell to her shoulders
and tumbled down her back. Long elegant
eyes set in a slightly broad face stared back at her. As her chin was cupped in her hand she could
see the diamond wedding ring twinkling in the light of the dresser lamp. She turned from the mirror and looked at the
ring… white gold with hearts embossed around it. Just behind it the engagement ring given to
her by her English husband more than twenty years ago. She fingered the three big diamonds and
sighed again
She turned away from the dresser and looked towards the
bed. Her husband lay there snoring
softly. Was this the perfect life she
imagined when he had asked her to marry him in Hong Kong ?
Just then there was a flash of green behind her and she
turned back to the mirror. It was not
her face that stared back at her, causing her to cover her mouth as she stifled
a scream of panic. She spun around but
her husband was still asleep.
She turned back to the mirror, but the strange little green
face was gone.
“I’m too tired,” she whispered to herself.
Amy stood up and padded across to her side of the bed… then
stopped.
There was a sound coming from downstairs.
She thought about waking her husband, but he became grouchy
when he was disturbed from his sleep.
Absently she touched her cheek, remembering. She shuddered and walked towards the door.
In her nightgown and armed with a toilet brush Amy turned
from the bottom of the staircase and looked down the hall towards the
kitchen. A pulsating green light could
be seen under the door and a strange gurgling sound could be heard coming from
beyond it.
She gripped the brush and crept barefoot towards the door,
feeling the tingle of fear knot her stomach, her heart racing. When she reached the kitchen door she reached
out a shaking hand and touched the knob.
A crash made her recoil in panic and she clutched the brush
to her chest. Swallowing she crept
forward again and took the knob in her hand, slowly turning it.
Closing her eyes she eased the door open.
Everything was quiet.
Amy opened her eyes and gasped – the green light was gone
but the kitchen was a mess. The fridge
was wide open, frozen and chilled food scattered everywhere. Milk and juice lay in puddles on the lino
floor… and in the middle of the room was a little green man.
The little creature lay there in the centre of a mound of
octopus legs and assorted vegetables. An
idiotic look of contentment was on his face as he burped, little bubbles
floating into the air.
Amy just gaped at the little Martian.
“Ho cha!” he gurgled in his little child voice, blinking his
big yellow eyes.
“What….?” Amy began, but the rest of the words dried up in
her throat.
“Wop fffffftang!” the
alien cooed, getting up on his flipper feet and slapping his way towards
her. He stopped before her and looked
up, blinking like an innocent child. Amy
backed away until she felt the wall at her back, but to her horror the little
creature walked towards her, stopping in front of her again, this time reaching
out a hand, gripping the lower edge of her knee-length night dress. He gave a wicked grin and began to raise the
garment, his eyes widening as he raised it almost hip high, level with its
face.
Amy felt she was going to faint – sure she was about to be
raped by a weird little man in her kitchen.
She vowed to wear panties to bed from now on.
The next moment she heard a wet honk as the little man blew
his non-existent nose on the cotton. He
took one look at the result and pulled a face before turning away and slapping
across to the octopus. He picked the
creature up in and turned his back on Amy, giving a little giggle.
She watched as he made huffing noises, then burst out
laughing as the alien turned round, the octopus inflated like a balloon in his
hands. He padded back to Amy and gave it
to her. She was amazed to find that it
actually floated, forcing her to hold onto one leg like a string.
As she watched the alien pulled a toy-like camera from
somewhere behind him and held it up to one eye.
A huge bulb popped out from a flap on top and the lens extended
alarmingly.
There was a bright flash and a pop and Amy was left looking
at stars. It took several minutes before
her vision cleared and when it did the little alien was gone, and the mess had
been cleaned up. She stood there,
octopus balloon in one hand and the toilet brush in the other. She looked down but her nightdress was clean.
“What are you doing down here at this time of night? What were you laughing at?”
Her husband was at her side, looking at the inflated
octopus.
“Er….”
Amy stared at the octopus, and for the first time in days
felt happy about something, a broad smile playing on her lips.
Back in his saucer the little Martian stuck his little photo
of Amy on the centre console next to the naked portrait of Mandy Strange. Kissing his finger he pressed it to the lips
of both women in turn, and smiled.
End
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